Finding a New Rhythm in Motherhood, Part 1

There are two things I know to be fundamentally true of God and want to talk about today. One, he continually calls us to know him more deeply through his word (the Bible). Two, he wants us to be good stewards of all he has given us, including our bodies, our relationships, our talents and our time.

I realize it’s the first week in February, and it’s a bit late for New Year’s resolutions. As I explained here, I’m not usually one for making resolutions. But this isn’t really a post about New Year’s resolutions per se – it’s about beginning again after a long vacation from any sort of goal-setting, which is often what happens during seasons of major upheaval like wedding planning or new motherhood. The new year just happened to be the catalyst for me to start thinking about setting some daily and long-term goals again, and figuring out how to incorporate those into a life that now includes marriage and motherhood.

After 19 months of constant and major life transitions, I felt foggy and out of sorts, a woman who’d lost her compass. Work was going well, with plenty of positive feedback from colleagues about my ability to do my job as a telecommuter. I was getting a handle on motherhood and adjusting to regular sleep deprivation. But I was craving direction and a rhythm to my days. I’d been focused so exclusively on weathering all the changes in my life that I’d let go of some of the key things that I personally need in order to feel balanced and healthy physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. So I made a list of the habits I want to revive this year. These are the things that comprise my smaller, day-to-day goals, and they’re written on a chalkboard hanging in my kitchen.

Reading blog post after blog post about other people’s New Year’s resolutions also made me think about setting some longer term goals, and it makes sense to have the end of the year in mind as a sort of deadline. It’s been a couple of years since I’ve set any kind of personal achievement goal for myself, so doing that sounded really, really good. I’m ready for some new growth opportunities and challenges, and I need those things to be measurable in some way, with an end result to aim for. So I made another list of more comprehensive goals. The nice thing is that some these long-term goals are naturally comprised of my smaller daily goals, so it all fits together.

When I relayed my list to E, he warned me about expecting too much from myself. He’s worried that if I fail at anything on my list, I’ll be disappointed. A few years ago, he might have been right. But if there’s one thing marriage and motherhood have taught me so far, it’s that no matter what kind of journey you’re embarking on, there has to be grace in the mix. I’m talking about grace for yourself, the freedom to let yourself mess up. Because there will be days and weeks that don’t go well, and you have to go easy on yourself when those come; you have to give yourself room to start again. While the end result matters, and it’s good to have deadlines to motivate you, it’s really the journey that’s most important, what you learn and how you grow along the way.

So, I’m expecting to fail on some days. And that’s okay with me. I just want those days to be in the minority, so that I still make progress.

For accountability’s sake, I’ve decided to lay out my goals here, in detail. If you’ve made some goals of your own this year, I’d love to know what they are and how you’re progressing.

• Read the entire Bible, a little each day. It really makes a difference in my day when I begin it with time spent reading God’s word. I’ve been wanting to make it through the entire Bible for a long time, but I always seem to return to my favorite books over and over. I’m not doing this just to get it over with or so I can say “I’ve read the whole Bible, every word.” It’s not a check mark for my bucket list. I’m doing it because I know God will meet me in the parts I haven’t yet read as well as those that are familiar. Gaps in my understanding will be filled. I’m going to grow in ways I have yet to imagine. So – to make it simple, I downloaded The One-Year Bible onto my eReader. It’s really a no-brainer, because someone else has already decided how much you will read every day. Each reading combines the Old and New Testaments, as well as a portion of Psalms and Proverbs, so you get a mix rather than wading through Leviticus all by itself for a week, yet there’s still continuity because you begin at the beginning of each part.
• Practice gratitude daily. If you haven’t read One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, I highly recommend it. It was a total game-changer for me, transforming my heart and my “eyes” in the best possible way. I keep a little journal on my desk and record the things I’m grateful for, the thngs that bless me throughout the day, and it makes me more deeply aware of God’s presence in my life. The more regularly I do this, the more my days are shot through with peace and joy, no matter what else happens.
• Memorize scripture. I’ve always wanted to do this, and anyone who practices scripture memorization claims it’s a transformative process, that committing God’s word to memory is like bringing the truth deeper within you. I’m using a cool resource called Scripture Typer. It utilizes muscle memory to help you learn, and in just a few minutes of practice a day, memorization comes easily. I’ve committed to memorizing Romans, one of my favorite books, as part of an online community, and so far, it’s been incredibly rewarding.
• Become part of a local church. God wants us to be part of a community of believers. We need to pour into others and to be poured into. We need to worship together with other believers. We need to make like-minded friends. So E and I are working on this goal together, visiting area churches that seem like they could be potential church homes. Thank goodness for the Internet in this endeavor!
• Lose 60 pounds. I have boyfriend weight, married weight and baby weight that has slowly piled on over the past three and a half years, and it’s time to do something about it. Sixty pounds may sound like a lot, but I’m giving myself a whole year to lose it, which comes out to a little more than a pound a week, or five pounds a month. That’s a slow, healthy pace, and I’m working on it without any kind of extreme dieting plans or over-the-top exercise demands. I’ll post more on how I’m doing this, but it begins with a lot of the items on my chalkboard – healthy meals, daily exercise, getting enough water.
• Write. I have two writing goals. The first is to post consistently on this blog and on my recipe blog – three times a week on each. The second is to complete the novel I’m writing and work on finding an agent. Both of these goals mean I need to make time for writing on a daily basis. I also need to find a way to block out chunks of time for writing on the weekends. It’s not easy to work it in between my full-time job and caring for my family, but because God gave me a heart for writing, I know he’ll help me find a way.
• Read. Once upon a time when I was a single girl, I read at least 52 books every year. That’s a book per week. This year, I’m shooting for half that – 26 books. My actual reading list is quite a bit longer – about 40 titles – but I know I won’t get to all of them. I’ll be posting my list here sometime soon, and my plan is to share some reviews here over the course of the year.
• Attend a writers’ conference. This is something I’ve been promising myself for years, but there was always something else going on (wedding planning, pregnancy, other financial priorities) and attending a conference just kept taking a back seat. Conferences are opportunities to gather ideas on writing and self-promotion, and to connect with other writers and people in the publishing business. There are a number of conferences I’d really like to attend, but I’m going to begin this year by picking just one, setting aside the funds to cover it, and making the most of it. I’m really excited about this goal.
• Become a better photographer. Before E and I went to Kenya for our honeymoon, we bought a fantastic Nikon D5100 digital SLR camera. I had been wanting one for a long time. I love photography – I took several classes in college, learned to use a manual SLR camera, and developed my own pictures. I haven’t taken the time to really learn how to use my digital SLR to its fullest extent, and my goal is to do that this year. I really want to become a better food photographer. I plan to work on this on my own, with the help of some books like this one, and maybe take a class at a local camera shop. I would love to attend a weekend photography workshop like this, but they’re expensive and would require air travel, so maybe next year.

Stacked up like this, it looks like I have some weighty goals for the year. But since the majority of them can be broken down into manageable bits, I think they’re totally doable. And like I said, I’m leaning on grace to fill the gaps.

What about you? How might God be calling you to re-order your days to get to know him more deeply and to be a better steward of what he’s given you? Leave a comment below.

Blessings,