Busy Mom Survival: 10 Tips for Hosting a Successful Thanksgiving

You’ve done it. You’ve decided to host Thanksgiving. At first, it sounds good. You get to decide who’s invited. You get to plan the menu. You get to decorate the Thanksgiving table. You get to decide whether or not the stuffing will be cooked inside the turkey.

Then, reality hits you. Panic sets in. What were you thinking? This is the single most important food-related event of the entire year. You must have been having a psychotic episode when you decided to do this. And now, you’re stuck. People are relying on you. Invitations have been extended. It’s too late to back out.

Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered. Even if, like me, you have to work the first three days of Thanksgiving week, you can do this. I promise. I have a series of tips to help you wrap your arms around this seemingly gargantuan task.

But first, the best recommendation I can make to you is read Sam Sifton’s book Thanksgiving: How to Cook It Well. This slim volume (only 125 pages of reading) has a wealth of wisdom in it, plus no-fail recipes for all the classic Thanksgiving menu items. Sifton covers everything from the kind of music you should be listening to while you cook to what not to include in your menu. It may seem a bit insane that someone actually wrote a whole book on how to do Thanksgiving, but believe me, it’s completely warranted. Read it. You’ll see what I mean.

And now, here are ten tips for a hosting Thanksgiving without losing your mind. Some of these are in part from Sifton’s book, although I’ve added my own two cents as well.

1. Don’t invite more people than you can handle. You’re going to be cooking for whomever you invite, so if making mashed potatoes for 27 people causes you to start hyperventilating, pare down your guest list. Also, consider table capacity. Thanksgiving is not a day for eating on the couch. How many tables can you fit in your dining room (or another room of choice, if the furniture is able to be rearranged)? How many people can comfortably fit around them? Of course, if you’ve already invited your husband’s entire clan, including third-cousin-twice-removed Myrtle, there’s not much I can do for you, except to say get some help. Live and learn, right?

2. Make a reasonable menu. Only 5 things on your menu really matter. You need turkey, gravy, stuffing or dressing (so called depending on whether it’s cooked inside the turkey or outside it), mashed potatoes, and cranberry sauce. If you have these five things, you have Thanksgiving dinner. Everything else is negotiable, and up to you. Translation: don’t let your mother browbeat you into believing that Thanksgiving dinner will be a complete loss without the braised carrot purée. It won’t. So keep it as simple as you need to. Skip the rolls (seriously – they’re just filler). And whatever you do, do not serve appetizers. It’s more work for you, and it means people eat less during dinner. You want hungry folks at that table!

3. Keep dessert simple. You should serve only pies and pie-like things (tarts, and/or crumbles also qualify). Do not depart from tradition, here. Dessert is supposed to be fall-ish. Do not be tempted to make a foray into the Land of Créme Brulée. Do not attempt to bake, frost, and decorate pumpkin cupcakes on Wednesday night. Pie. It’s all about pie.

4. Inventory your equipment well in advance. Make a list of all the equipment you will need for each dish, and ensure you will have the appropriate tools for everything you’re cooking. This includes pots and pans, bowls, appliances, baking dishes, knives, and utensils. Do not plan to use a pan twice. You don’t need to be frantically washing pans mid-way through your dinner preparations. If you can, borrow what you don’t have. If you can’t borrow it, buy a reasonably priced version of whatever it is you need. The last thing you need on Thanksgiving is equipment-related stress. Also make a list of serving dishes you will need, including utensils. You don’t want to find yourself forced into a buffet-style meal or serving food in the pan in which it was cooked (unless it’s a pretty casserole dish). Dessert, on the other hand, can be served buffet-style.

5. Prepare what you can ahead of time. Cranberry sauce can be made the weekend before and stored in the refrigerator. Pies can be made a few days ahead as well (I like baking pies in the evening earlier in the week). My grandma was known to peel and slice her potatoes the night before and put them in a pot of water in the refrigerator so they were ready to go the next day. Think it through, read your recipes, and figure out what you can do in advance.

6. Make a plan for the big day. Create a rough time schedule for Thanksgiving Day, so that you know when you need to start each task. Many traditional Thanksgiving dishes can be prepped in the morning, and then just need to go into the oven at the right time. Some things can be made and kept warm for a few hours without any harm. Consider all of these possibilities, and make a plan. This is especially helpful if, like most of us, you have four burners on your stovetop and a single oven.

7. If help is offered, accept it. If someone offers to bring something, take them up on it. If they ask what they can make, feel free to assign a dish you don’t mind someone else cooking (just make sure they’re comfortable with it). Dessert can a great thing to delegate (just be prepared for the possibility of store-bought pie, and if you can’t handle that, then don’t delegate dessert). Of course, you should not delegate the 5 Things that Really Matter to someone else unless you trust that person’s cooking skills and taste completely. And you should never delegate the cooking of the turkey to someone else. That’s your job as the host/hostess, and that’s the way it should be. If you feel at a loss when it comes to the turkey, get help from a seasoned cook whom you trust. Also, if someone offers to come early and help you in the kitchen, accept as long as you can comfortably share your kitchen with that person. If not, it’s okay to gracefully decline, saying “I’ve got it covered, but thanks for the offer. We’re looking forward to seeing you at [insert formal guest arrival time here]!”

8. Find a partner. My sister-in-law Jen and I are co-hosting Thanksgiving dinner for the second year in a row, and having a team of two to do the work is fantastic. Since we lived together for three months last year, we’re comfortable in each other’s kitchens and have cooked together enough to do the “kitchen dance” without stepping on each other’s toes. If you have that kind of relationship with a relative or friend, ask them to co-host with you. It’s much more fun than being in the kitchen alone!

9. Set up your dining space in advance. This applies to everything from rearranging furniture to setting up extra tables to actually setting putting on the tablecloth and setting the table. If you can, do it the weekend before (minus dishes and silverware, which could get dusty). Place dishes and utensils the night before. Doing this ahead of time allows you to approach it in a relaxed fashion, and to have some fun with your table. Note: remember that food will be on the table. Sam Sifton advises using a centerpiece that can be easily removed from the table when it’s time to eat, so that you have a pretty table for people to look at before it’s covered with serving dishes of food. I’ll have some great table setting ideas for you later this week.

10. Follow Julia Child’s cardinal rule, and do not apologize for the food. Period. Even if there are lumps in the gravy. Even if you drop the pumpkin pie. Pretend you’re the Queen of England, hold your head high, and keep smiling.

11. (I know I said there were 10 tips, but it’s turned out to be 11, so I’m going with it. This is just too important to leave out). This is not a day to worry about fat and calories. This is a day to enjoy the biggest and best meal of the year without worrying about your figure. You can get back to your diet on Friday.

I hope this was helpful! I applaud all of you brave souls who are hosting Thanksgiving for your families and friends. Jen and I will be right there with you, elbows deep in turkey (literally). And we’re looking forward to it!

Blessings,