Christmas: To Travel or Not to Travel?
This is our second Christmas since moving from Michigan to Virginia, and we’re heading back to Michigan for Christmas a second time. I’ll be honest: while I’m looking forward to visiting with family and friends, to Christmas Eve Curry Dinner, to my annual trip to Frankenmuth with my mom, to watching L snuggle with aunts, uncles, and grandparents and play with cousins, even to seeing some snow, there are things I’m decidedly not looking forward to. Like not being in our own home on Christmas morning, not having my own kitchen available for cooking and baking, not being able to observe our own family traditions at home during the last two weeks of the season, and living out of a suitcase over the holidays.
Some families who live far away from their extended clans travel home every Christmas, and it’s just what they’re accustomed to. Some don’t put up a Christmas tree or decorate their homes because they’ll be traveling, and they don’t see the point of all that effort if they won’t be home on Christmas to enjoy it. Others put up a tree and decorate, then leave it all behind to spend Christmas elsewhere, hauling the presents along with them. Some love going “back home” for the holidays; others do it dutifully, out of a sense of obligation to family. But I don’t want a destination Christmas to be the only kind of Christmas L knows. And I sure don’t want to spend every Christmas exhausted by travel.
Personally, I can’t imagine missing out on Christmas at home every year. I love decorating the house. I love old-fashioned Christmas traditions like cutting down a tree and hauling it home on the top of the truck (the photo above is of the first Christmas tree E and I ever cut down together, before we were married), baking and decorating sugar cookies, hanging up stockings, curling up on the couch and reading Christmas stories before bed.
When I was in high school, I started keeping a list of the Christmas traditions I wanted to observe with my own family someday. My own childhood was rich in Christmas traditions, and they made it all so magical. I want Christmas to be that way for L, and I can’t just load all those traditions and their trappings into the car and haul them to Michigan every year, to someone else’s home.
So E and I are wrestling with what Christmas should look like for us in future years. Maybe we could have both – a decorated house and a tree we leave behind, followed by a cross-country trek to spend the actual holiday with our extended families – but that seems like a lot of effort for something we won’t get to fully enjoy. It doesn’t seem practical. Maybe we should only travel every so many years – but then how often should it be?
Underneath all of this, I’m wrestling with the question of what’s most important. Is it immediate family or extended family? Is it ensuring that L’s grandparents get to see her during the holidays? Is it things like having our own tree, baking cookies, and waking up at home on Christmas morning? Is it being able to have time together as a family without all the hubbub? All these things matter to us, but there’s just no way to have it all.
In the end, I know all that really matters is that we celebrate the first coming of our savior, Jesus, and that we don’t lose sight of that in the midst of all the planning and baking and travel and busyness. This comforts me, because we can celebrate Christ’s birth no matter where we are. Maybe, in light of this, Christmas trees and ornaments and cookies shouldn’t matter to me. But they do, and so I’m struggling.
From those of you who live far from your extended families, I’d love to know how you navigate this. Will you leave a comment and tell me how you do it?
Blessings,
Harmony,
I meant to comment on this posting the other day but found myself not sure how to respond with out added bias. Like you I grew up with a large family and many “family” traditions”. As you know we have been separated from our immediate family for over 27 years due to Gary;s time in the Navy. My first Christmas season away, I remeber calling my mom crying because I went to the Mall and didn’t see anyone I knew. That never happened at home, I always saw somebody I knew. My mom in her wisdom said ” that will change as your new place becomes your “home”. She was so right !
Anyways Here is a few lessons I have learned over the years.
1. You have to create your “own family memories and traditions.”
2. For some reason those at “home” think it is farther to travel to your house then it is for you to go to theirs.
3. Pick non holiday times to make the trips “home”.
4. Remember that is not where you are physically for Christmas that matters.
Finally,
You must always do what is best for you and your husband and children.
Have a blessed Holiday Season ,
Love
Suz
Suz, THANK YOU for this. I needed someone to say these words to me. And you are so right about all of this. Your mom’s words, too, hit home. I just love her. 🙂 You’ve both blessed me today.