Working from Home with Kids

Strategies for Balancing a Full-Time Job and Homeschooling

A colleague instant messaged me from her newly established home office this week. “Are you laughing at all of us trying to get adjusted to working at home?” she quipped. She has two kids who are at home with her because of school closures.

I chuckled, but replied, “No. I’ve had years to figure out my work-from-home routine.”

I’m one of a small percentage of people at my company who work from home full-time, and I’ve been doing so for close to eight years. I’ve been homeschooling for four of those eight years. Initially, I enrolled my older daughter in a preschool program during the morning hours. I picked her up for lunch, after which she napped until my husband arrived home in the late afternoon. When she was four, I decided I wanted to see if we could homeschool in a way that didn’t interfere with my job. We had read-aloud time first thing in the morning, spent some time on phonics and handwriting during lunch, and I set up a workspace for her at my desk so that she could occupy herself with independent activities after her nap while I worked. In the middle of this time, I gave birth to my second daughter. By the time I returned to work from maternity leave four months later, both girls were napping in the afternoon, and I hired a sitter to come to the house in the mornings. I homeschooled my then-preschooler, nursed my baby around the clock, and continued to put in eight hours a day at my job. On weekends, we did the things other homeschooling families do Monday through Friday: nature walks, museum visits, trips to the library. In this way, we found our family’s rhythm.

Four years later, our day-to-day life doesn’t look much different. We do some reading at breakfast, my mother’s helper arrives for the morning hours, we do some more schoolwork at lunchtime, and my older daughter does independent work at my desk in the afternoons while my preschooler naps. I’m available to answer questions and check her work at intervals as conference calls and meetings permit. Both girls have lots of free time to play, which is something I value highly. We tie up loose ends in the evening and on weekends. With the outbreak of the Coronavirus, not much has changed, although I’m now flying solo just like everyone else because my usual help is also self-isolating.

I realize no two families are the same, and the strategies that have helped me juggle full-time employment and homeschooling may not all work for you, in your setting, with your unique kids. But on the off-chance that even one or two of these tactics might help you achieve some sense of balance in the midst of the current upheaval, here are some of the structures and routines I’ve come to rely on.

Communicate.

Talk to your kids in a way they can understand about the fact that life needs to be a little different for a while. Explain to them that you need to be able to work from home, sometimes without interruption and, if they are school-age, that they will need to do schoolwork at home as well. Then, talk together about what this might look like. Make it a conversation wherein every family member gets an opportunity to voice his or her needs and desires. Identify the non-negotiables (like the fact that sometimes, Mom or Dad might need to be on a phone call, and everyone will need to refrain from interrupting) as well as the areas where you can be flexible as a family but still honor your collective responsibilities.

Figure out a schedule.

A schedule acts as a scaffold for your day, setting a routine in place for everyone to follow. It’s OK if the timing is a little different each day in order to meet your work needs (we all need to be flexible, especially right now), but research shows kids thrive with routines in place. Breakfast time, snack times, school time, chore time, read-aloud time, quiet time: identifying markers like these can provide a sense of constancy and stability your kids–and you–can count on. Communicate with your kids every morning about what to expect that day. I give my kids a rundown of my meetings, for example, so they know when I will be on the phone or a video meeting. This way they’re prepared when I say, “I have a meeting for the next half-hour, so it’s time to choose a quiet activity.” A whiteboard, if you have one, is a great way to keep the schedule visible to everyone.

Give them responsibilities.

Life skills development is one of the most valuable (and often overlooked) parts of a holistic education. We all agree that we want to raise functional adults, right? Put them in charge of the dishwasher, the laundry, keeping one room in the house clean or, if they like to cook, making a meal every so often. If you have both teens and littles, enlist your teens’ help with the littles while you’re working (not for eight hours, but for short times and/or certain tasks, like helping them get dressed after breakfast or playing a game with them while lunch is being made). Empower each of your kids to take ownership of some area of your home or family life. They may complain at first, but their confidence and sense of place within your family will grow, even over a short period, and you’ll have less to juggle.

Keep schooling simple.

Whether you’re managing assignments your kids’ teachers are providing digitally or coming up with your own, this can feel overwhelming if you haven’t done it before. Jamie Martin of Simple Homeschool makes a few good points on this front: you are not going to screw up your child’s education during this time, schooling at home does not work the same way as in a classroom, and homeschooling doesn’t take as long as traditional schooling. Keep lessons short. (Math with one kid might only need to be 10-15 minutes because–ta da!–you’re only working with one kid and not 28.) Consider reading, chores, listening to music, arts and crafts of any kind, baking, and outdoor play all part of schooling at home. Everything counts. For even more tips on establishing a homeschooling rhythm, see Jamie’s post on the Three-hour Homeschool Solution. If your kids’ schools aren’t providing digital lessons, you can find some simple, easy ideas for schooling at home in Brandy Vencel’s post, Welcome to Homeschooling.

Give them a place of their own in your “space.”

Proximity matters to younger kiddos, especially. They will probably want to be near you off and on, and this doesn’t have to interrupt your work (although you might find earbuds helpful at times). It may take a few conversations and some reinforcement over the course of a few days, but the right activity options can enable them to be nearby, occupied and relatively quiet, while you are being productive. Set up your laptop at the family table and let them sit adjacent to you, add a chair at your desk if it’s large enough, or set up a table just for them in the room you’re using as a home office. Schoolwork, arts and crafts, reading, puzzles, and activity books are all quiet activities that work well in close proximity to a working parent who needs to focus. My girls even like to do Cosmic Kids Yoga in my office. (LEGOs, on the other hand, can be loud and disruptive if you have a big container of them that constantly needs to be sifted through–these are banned from my work area.)

Send them outside.

As Richard Louv, author of The Nature Principle and Last Child in the Woods asserts, we all need more time outdoors. If you have a yard with boundaries they can safely play in, let them go out. I can hear my girls playing in our fenced-in yard from my office, so I let them go out throughout the day. When it’s nice out, I take my laptop and join them on the patio so I can get some fresh air myself. If you don’t have a yard but do have a mobile hotspot and can take your laptop along to a bigger outdoor space (where there’s enough room for social distancing), that’s another option.

Don’t feel like you have to keep them occupied all day.

Boredom is creativity’s best friend. So let them be bored when they run out of steam. Given time, they’ll figure it out–and likely surprise or even amaze you when they do.

Manage screen usage.

Hopefully you’re not so overwhelmed that you feel like your only option is to give them screens, but don’t be afraid to use screens in positive ways (for educational purposes, for example) and as an incentive or tool when it’s absolutely necessary. We have a “before screen time” checklist that includes things like exercise (indoors or out), completing academic work, arts and crafts, reading time, imaginative play, etc. (all the things I mentioned above that count as part of schooling at home) before they can get in front of a screen. At the same time, if I have an important conference call, I have no qualms about letting them choose a show or movie to keep them occupied (and thus, not catfighting) during my meeting.

Quiet time is golden.

Whether they’re five or fifteen, an hour of quiet after lunch gives everyone a reset, soothing nerves and restoring peace. Put littles in their beds. Allow older kids to choose a designated quiet time spot. Books make good companions during quiet time. So can a movie if it’s the right one. Phones and iPads are not as restful, so consider limiting use of those during quiet time.

Schedule breaks.

You may be used to eating at your desk when you’re at work, but I suggest you forego that during this season. The downside of working from home is that you don’t physically leave the building at the end of the day, so make time during the day to step away from your desk and connect with your kids. It’s good for your brain, your productivity, and your relationships. Eat breakfast and lunch together. Take a walk around the block together. Take a break for tea and a read-aloud in the middle of the afternoon. Schedule solo breaks as well, for exercise, meditation if you’re stressed, a few pages of a book, or your favorite hobby. I get up super early (I know this isn’t everyone’s jam) so I can have a full hour of quiet before my kids are awake. This puts me in a good mental place to handle all of the busyness the rest of the day brings. Find a way to carve out a little solo time for yourself.

Remember that there are no perfect days.

In spite of schedules and careful planning, some days will simply just fall apart. There are crabby people and sniffles and skinned knees and knockdown dragouts over toys. Not to mention, somebody is always hungry. But as Anne of Green Gables said, “Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it.” We get to begin again every morning.

Try to see this time as a gift.

I hear a lot of parents say that they wish their kids were closer, that their family was more tightly knit, that they weren’t always on the go to practices and classes and activities. Use this opportunity to cultivate closeness as a family. Talk. Laugh together. Bake cookies. Play board games. Go for hikes. Relish the opportunity to have three meals a day together at the family table. Enjoy one another’s company.

This chaos won’t last forever, thankfully, even if it seems like it right now (it’s been a long week, am I right?). All any of us can give is our best effort to keep body and soul together and do what needs to be done.

If I can answer more detailed questions for you or suggest resources, please don’t hesitate to reach out via email, here. I’m happy to help in any way I can.